Daily Archives: December 30, 2011

The Wisdom of Guessing David’s Heart

It’s been quite revelatory reading through comments here on Soul David in the wake of David announcing his plans to go on a formal mission for his LDS Church.

Sometimes, I wish we could be like the mainstream media, only accepting what is reported and drawing a simple conclusion: since David left his label and has not yet signed onto a new one, and since he has no singles playing on radio and no plans for a new album, now’s the perfect time to go on a Mormon Mission. And when you think about it, Okkam’s Razor and all that (i.e. “the simplest explanation is the right one”), what’s more likely to be true?

I guess I’m just wondering why, after first speculating about David and the direction he was taken on while signed to a major label, then speculating on whether or not his management was taking him in the right direction, we have now moved on to speculating about whether or not David’s church is leading him in the right direction.  And now some are even wondering if David’s heart will lead him in the right direction.

Can’t we as David’s fans just live and let live?  Can’t we accept that David knows what’s best for David? Can we even accept that David is in control and not anyone else – not his dad, not his “team,” not even his “church”?

Can we accept that David has “free choice” and that the persona he has crafted for us to adore is one that he nurtured and genuinely projected? Who can ever know what’s in anyone’s heart, and why should we speculate?

Most of my own speculation has to do with my own priorities in life and figuring out how (and if) I should maintain a blog when the main focus of the blog will be away for two years. Now, I haven’t made any decisions yet for the new year, but please know that I must make a decision.

Besides, I’ve already decided that David going on a mission is an opportunity for me to take stock of what David has meant to me and what his absence will do to my writing. I’ve actually taken it as positive sign. The new year will bring increased pressure to work on my forthcoming book, so the less there is to write about David, the more I can devote to other projects.

David leaving my orbit will also force me to take stock of the other real, concrete people in my life and other artists creating music out there. Oh, have no doubt: I will wait for David’s return and eagerly consume any new information that becomes available.

But in the mean time, I’ve got a life (and other writing) to tend to: David going away for a while will give us all breathing space and time to assess how we can live life fully and meaningfully without his presence.

Heck, any of us who have been in relationships know that a “break” (temporary or permanent) brings with it opportunities for growth and reflection, and usually you come out a whole new and transformed person as a result. I would hope we as David’s fans would embrace such opportunities. 

I guess what I’m saying is: if we’re going to start speculating about what’s in David’s heart, I think this is a real waste of time. It’s better to speculate about what’s in your own heart and what is its capacity in waiting for someone like David or in accepting the personal decisions he makes for himself.

I just think that’s healthier all around. I just know, during this holiday season, when I’ve been able to reconnect witih old friends and family, and even been able to share some of David’s music, that sometimes that’s all we’ve got going. I personally just don’t care to investigate David’s church and what their missionaries do because some things I consider “too much information.”

I can’t possibly be bothered with all the tenets of his religion and if he’s going to get married after his mission. Why should I care if he’s got a girlfriend picked out or if he doesn’t have any interest in romance or marriage or what have you? Why are we personally invested in either his religious life or his sexual one?

There’s being curious about your idol’s life and life goals, and then there’s just being nosy.

Why do we care about the TMI aspects of David’s life? Why do some of us feel like we’ve invested time and money and then perceive there is no payoff?

I have zero regrets about spending $195 (plus hotel and gas money) for a VIP ticket to see David in person at his “My Kind of Christmas” tour. I have no regrets spending four years chronicling his music and my own musings. I have no regrets spending money on all his singles, albums, his book, DVDs, and anything else David-related. I have no regrets blogging about him. 

David touched my soul, and he was worth every penny and time I put in. Yes, I’d like him to be a super star; his talent deserves it, but David himself needs to decide that for himself.  I as a fan can only give him the confidence to know that he will be supported if he dares to grab at the stars.

In the mean time, the new year is about prioritizing and re-prioritizing. David has made up his own mind about what will be his priorities. Are we ready to bravely do the same in our own lives?